Wednesday, August 25, 2010

SnappleApple450 Post 5: Stupid Love Ruins Everything






Stupid Love Ruins Everything


"Liz, I neeeeeed you... call me back please? Bye." I hung my phone up and laid back on my bed. Once again, Liz failed to answer her phone.

"Twenty bucks says she's with her new boyfriend," I mumbled darkly to myself.

I hated Derik. He was stuck-up and loud. Not saying Liz and I were quiet people but geez there's a reason people go to the library. It's quiet. I never thought we'd be kicked out of a library before. That was my place of worship. It used to be Liz's too until she met the new football teams quarterback.

I don't even know what she saw in him. I mean, sure he was hot but come on. Knowing Lizzie, she could find a smart hot guy. I just hoped he was a passing phase so Liz would come back to spending her Friday nights with me on the couch and a bowl of popcorn.

My phone rang and I immediately answered it. "Liz! God, where have you been?!"

"Um...actually it's Paul."

I groaned. Paul was my pathetic lab partner. Not to say anything bad about him, but he was a little too nerdy for me. Always drooling over the latest comic books. I didn't know they still made those.

"What do you want Paul?" I huffed, angrier at Liz for not being the one to call.

He cleared his throat and I could have sworn I heard paper being rustled on the other end. "Dear Sam."

I stopped him. "Dear? Dude what do you want to say? I'm waiting for another phone call!"

He stuttered on the phone. "I-I-I just wanted to know if y-you had any plans tonight."

I internally cursed Liz even more now. Was I so desperate for entertainment that I would go out with Paul? The answer was no way in Hell.

"I'm sorry...Paul but actually I have plans."

He sighed for the longest time, making a big awkward bubble through the phone. "Alright then... I'll see you in school Monday."

I hung up without saying goodbye. His Eeyore-ness was bringing me down even more than I already was. I never did this to Liz, so why would she do it to me? It was unfair! We were weekend borders! We made a silent pact never to dump the other over a boy.

I growled, picking up my phone again. I dialed her cell phone one last time. Miraculously, she answered. "Uh...hello?" She sounded distracted.

"Liz! You answered!" I screamed happily.

"Yeah, that's what you do when the phone rings, genius." Her sarcasm was heard even through the music on her end.

"Where are you?" I covered my other ear so I could hear better.

"I'm at this club!" She screamed over the loud noise. "Hang on, I'll go outside!"

I waited patiently until the music died down. Finally it was quiet and she exhaled. "Hey babe, what's up?"

My mouth dropped. "What do you mean 'what's up?' Dude it's Friday night!"

She had a bubbly laugh. "Yeah I know! Derik took me to this club! I used a fake ID and everything! Whoo!" She screamed out before laughing again.

I pinched the bridge of my noise. "I meant, what about our plans? You were coming over to my house and we were gonna stay up all night making out with Ben and Jerry!"

"I've got something way better than Ben and Jerry and he's a wayyy better kisser too," she laughed to herself.

"Liz, this isn't you. What happened to you and me spending the weekends together? Now you're out at the club?!" I was ranting, letting all my anger pour out. She stayed silently listening so I continued. "You know what, just...call me when my best friend's back." Click.

I laid in bed for half an hour, eating the two pints of Ben and Jerry's by myself. Usually I would get New York Super Fudge Chunks and she'd get Boston Cream Pie. We were taking over American cities, one spoonful at a time. I bit my spoon and reached over to my stereo, turning up my music. Lonely love songs were playing. I felt like I'd gone through a breakup. My best friend finally dumps me for a boyfriend. I was kicked to the curb.

I started singing along to the songs. "AND I'M THINKIN TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE!!!"

I heard clapping at my door and fell off the bed. Peaking over the side of my bed, I saw Liz standing with a bag and an apologetic smile. "Your mom let me in...."

I stood up, picking up the empty cartons of ice cream and throwing them away. "Soooo..." I said awkwardly, rubbing my arm where I fell.

She lifted up the bag. "I brought Chinese food and more Ben and Jerry's. I kinda knew you'd eat them both in one sitting alone..."

I chuckled, looking at the floor. I was embarrassed at how I acted on the phone. Liz put the food down and hugged me. "I'm sorry for ditching you!"

I hugged her back. "I'm sorry for being jealous!"

"Let's just forget it ever happened!" She smiled, pulling her shoes off. She grabbed a little box of noodles and chopsticks and jumped on my bed. I pulled apart some chopsticks and stole some noodles from her container.

"Get your own, bitch!" She laughed.

"Why when I can steal yours?" She rolled her eyes, handing me the noodles as she got another container. We sat on my bed, laughing and joking around, singing along to stupid love songs together all night. Finally passing out around 5 in the morning with chocolate stains on our faces from the ice cream.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Newmoonaholic Post 3: Quiet Reflections





Quiet Reflections


Quiet Reflections

I have been waiting a while now for the earth to wake up. The fresh morning air, thick with dew, feels almost heavy in my lungs as it cleanses and helps awaken my senses. Nearby, the forest is slowly coming to life as the faintest hint of light bleeds across the sky. The squirrels are dancing through the trees, leaping and scurrying. Their quick, jerky movements seem too chaotic amid the morning’s calm. But the sweet chirping and singing of the birds is a soothing, natural antidote to the antics of the squirrels. On the horizon, brilliant pinks and oranges are heralding trumpets, announcing the arrival of the sun, and foretelling of a new day.

When Jacob had asked me to come along on this heritage journey, I had no idea how much I needed to be here. I won’t lie, the thought of spending three weeks wearing native tribal garb, sleeping in teepees, and getting in touch with a culture that was not my own seemed completely ridiculous. But now that I was here, I could not be more grateful. I had no idea how much the stress of my life was affecting me, or how blind I had been about some things.

I had loved Edward with my whole being. He was my world, my sun, and my moon. And when he left me, he took all the light with him. I wandered alone in the dark for months, unable to sleep, eat, or even think. It hurt to open my eyes everyday, and breathing brought the agony of expanding the wound in my chest where my heart used to be. But as I fill my lungs with yet another breath of a new day, I can open my eyes fully to the beauty that surrounds me, and draw strength from the earth itself. Jacob taught me that. He taught me how to draw energy from my environment. That the elements flow through us and work for us. He taught me how to heal.

This has become my favorite time of day. It’s the only time the camp is quiet. There are ten teepees in all, set in a circular pattern, and giving a wide berth to the large fire pit in the center. Jacob and his tribal brothers are never satisfied unless the evening bonfire is at least eight feet high, which is five feet higher than I’m comfortable with, but their childlike joy in their nightly accomplishment is too endearing to complain. In this secluded location, it is easy to see how the innate pride in their lineage flows through them like water through the mountain.

Water. So tranquil in the trickling steam, yet it holds the power to carve the earth. It has created great gorges, washes the land, and gives life to all creatures. In the distance, I can hear the river as it flows. It’s gentle caress, slowly smoothing and shaping the rocks as it has done for centuries.

A light breeze kisses my cheeks, as the air bids me good morning. I breathe deeply again, allowing it to consume, and heal me inside. The air has the power to crush a mighty tree, and sting the skin with bitterness. But it can also lightly stroke the flower and hold the bird in its gentle hand. It surrounds us constantly, sometimes a heavy presence, and sometimes an invisible friend. It feeds the fire, moves the water, and hugs the earth.

I reach down and scoop up a handful of soil, allowing it to trickle through my fingers. Mother Earth. Our home, our origin, our destination. Rich soil brings life sustaining nutrients, and the land provides all we need to build shelter. It shakes when it is angry, yet loves us enough to provide us with what we need to survive when the air, the fire, and the water are vexed. The pure smell of this iron rich soil combines with the raw, woodsy scent of surrounding forest, to clear my mind and pacify my soul.

Before I came here, the only element I recognized was fire. It ran through my veins, blinding me with such pain that all I wanted was an end. I wanted it to devour me, turn me to ash and allow the wind to carry me away. It assaulted me day after terrible day, controlling my thoughts and rendering me useless in my darkness.

But I was not meant to burn, and Jacob squelched the flames with his noble heart and gentle ways. He was my compass, guiding me through the dark until our journey brought me here...to the dawn of a new day, and a new life. I understand now that I was following an unnatural path before. I had allowed myself to become so wrapped up in someone who could never give me what I needed to survive. Instead, he bled me until I was dry and flammable, and then he lit the match. But I no longer fear the fire. I understand that it has a very sensible purpose. It guides us, sometimes gently and sometimes harshly, away from those things which are bad for us. And it also cleanses us, allowing us to rise anew like a phoenix; stronger than before, and more wise.

I raise my eyes to the east and greet the sun as it peeks above the mountains, bathing my face with its tender warmth and embracing me as an old friend. I missed my friend in the darkness. Though he knocked many times, the fire had melted the locks on my prison door sealing me in. I shudder slightly at the memory, but am instantly soothed by the breath of the wind in my hair, the tenderness of the sun on my cheeks, the song of the river, and the embrace of the earth below me. And as I hear Jacob’s tender voice, thick with sleep, offer me a simple “Mornin’, Beautiful,” I can’t help the small smile that plays on my lips. His warm embrace envelopes me from behind, and I am instantly filled with the joy and peace that comes from knowing that I now walk my natural path.



This was written for my dear friend Hev99, and is being posted in honor of her birthday. The world was irrevocably changed for the better when Bob entered the world. She is as bright a light as the noonday sun in the lives of all who know her, and I, for one, could not feel more blessed to have her in my life. I love you, Bob! Happy Birthday!